When you do everything right yet it doesn't work - what's really going on?

Just before my marriage ended, I was in the best shape of my life.
I had completed two half marathons in the months leading up to everything falling apart.

I felt strong. Clear. Like I had finally become the version of me I always wanted to be.

And then… everything collapsed.
My marriage ended. And with it, my focus, my drive, and the energy I had poured into taking care of myself.

I stopped running—not because I didn’t care anymore, but because I could barely stay afloat.
And then the weight came back. Quickly.

Of course, some of it was physical—less movement, more stress.
But I know now:
 My body was building armor.

On a deep, subconscious level, I believed:
If I’m less attractive, I’ll be safe.
Safe from attention.
Safe from being hurt again.
Safe from the vulnerability of being truly seen.

That’s the part most people miss:
What looks like self-sabotage is often self-protection.

 Our nervous system is wired for safety, not success.
When it perceives visibility or intimacy as dangerous, it finds ways to hide—through weight, avoidance, numbing, perfectionism, or burnout.

But here’s the cruel irony…
That armor I built?

It didn’t keep me safe.

Years later, when I finally opened my heart again—when I let someone fully in—I still got hurt.
Badly.

Which only proves the point:
No amount of protection will save us from pain. But it will keep us stuck.

Until we learn to untangle the real pattern underneath.

If you’re ready to understand why you keep sabotaging the very things you want—your health, your peace, your finances, your relationships—there’s a way through.

You don’t have to keep living in survival mode. You need to become aware of your deep rooted patterns and then learn the tools to reprogram your subconscious mind.

As yourself: Is there anything I am currently doing in any area of my life where I may be sabotaging my own success? What might be the subconscious reason?

— Corey

Certified Freedom from Self-Sabotage Coach